I just realized anew that I don't have any more grandparents. When I was young, I had six: all four parents of my parents, plus my maternal great-grandparents. Now none. And worse, my dad is gone. There's this whole swath, this whole foundational support, gone. And so much history resting on my mom's precious shoulders. I have to believe that their love goes on. I feel it sometimes. I'm not sure if they would understand or approve of everything about my life, but they loved me, and I don't think anything could've made them stop. Especially my dad-- one of my biggest fans and greatest loves. A never-ceasing source of support, positivity, and compassion.
I feel their love, and I feel the loss of them, as much as I let myself. Trying to let it all in: the loss and the love, the bitter and the sweet. If there is to be healing and growth, it's in being with what is here, and offering compassion to myself. Sending so much compassion to all others who are grieving or in pain in this moment.
Allow By Danna Faulds
There is no controlling life. Try corralling a lightning bolt, containing a tornado. Dam a stream and it will create a new channel. Resist, and the tide will sweep you off your feet. Allow, and grace will carry you to higher ground. The only safety lies in letting it all in – the wild and the weak; fear, fantasies, failures and success. When loss rips off the doors of the heart, or sadness veils your vision with despair, practice becomes simply bearing the truth. In the choice to let go of your known way of being, the whole world is revealed to your new eyes.