As human beings, we were born with a negativity bias that makes it very easy for us to notice what’s “wrong.” This innate bias is intended to help us detect and avoid danger.

The only problem is that simply detecting what is uncomfortable or undesired doesn’t serve our wellbeing! We benefit when we cultivate a more balanced experiencing of our world by turning toward the good that is already occurring.

The practices below can help to make our positive experiences “stickier” and help shift the negativity bias, putting us on a path of resilience.

Practices

Notice You’re Alright Right Now

From Dr. Rick Hanson: "Several times a day, notice that you’re basically alright.

You may want more money or love, or simply salt for your French fries. Or want less pain, heartache or rush hour traffic. All very reasonable. But meanwhile, underneath all the to-ing and fro-ing, you are OK. The foundation of your activities is an aliveness and an awareness that is doing fine this second.” Read the full description.

Savoring

How can we capture a moment? By fully feeling it as it happens. The next time you’re feeling happy, grateful, delighted, at ease — notice it! When you notice “this is a beautiful moment,” keep your attention in the present moment and imagine that you are recording it within you in full color, capturing all the sounds, smells, and emotions of the moment. Don’t try to rush the moment or change it — just let it unfold, being fully present and appreciating the gift of joy as it unfolds. This works for big moments and small — a wedding day or a really good slice of pizza. :)

Find a Daily Highlight

Each day, ask yourself, “What has the highlight of this day?” Take time to think or write about this moment, gathering all the details. As you write, you are reliving this moment, and even as you commit it to paper, you are also committing it more fully to your memory. Take a look at this Needs Inventory and see which needs were being met during this highlight moment. You may find that if you make this a daily practice, you will start to be on the lookout for highlights…

The “Who Can I Thank?” Game

Simply ask yourself “Who can I thank?” Let yourself think about who are appreciating and why… and then spread the joy by telling them! Make it easy — send a text, write a postcard, leave a voicemail.

Visualize a Positive Experience

Before an important event, do you ever find yourself “rehearsing” how it could go wrong? Why not try rehearsing how it could go amazingly well? After all, both of these versions of the future have a shot at coming true… and rehearsing a positive outcome actually benefits you instead of stressing you out! In your mind, imagine the whole event from beginning to end, in a version where all things turn out well. Sit with this question instead, “What could go right?”

30 Seconds of Satisfaction

From Marianne Rowe, LMFT: When you finish a task that took a lot of work and effort, take 30 seconds to let your accomplishment “sink in” before moving on to the next. Let yourself breathe as you enjoy and amplify the feeling of accomplishment and contentment.

Gratitude

Close your eyes and take 3 slow breaths. Let yourself ask: What feels like a gift right now? What make me smile? What am I enjoying in my life right now? When something comes to mind, focus on this and sense the warmth of joy and gratitude. Let yourself expand this gratitude by focusing on the impact — how does this gift make your life better? What would it be like not to have this source of gratitude?

Practicing gratitude becomes second nature when we make it into a daily practice. You might choose to begin or end the day with this practice, or even bring this practice to your family at the dinner table. Hearing other’s gratitudes brings joy, too!

A Tiny Treasure Hunt

Take a “Treasure Hunt” walk with the intention of being on the lookout for beauty, surprise, wonder, curiosities. When you find something that strikes your fancy, pause and zoom in. Let yourself stay with this treasure for as long as you like.

Meditate

Gratitude

Cultivating Ease in Body, Mind, and Heart

Being with the Good

A Tiny Treasure Hunt

Read

How to Hardwire Resilience into Your Brain, Rick Hanson

Positivity, Barbara L. Fredrickson, PhD

The Happiness Advantage, Shawn Achor

Happiness is an Inside Job, Sylvia Boorstein

The Happiness Project, Gretchen Rubin