“Sometimes I go about in pity for myself,
and all the while, a great wind is bearing me across the sky.”
—Ojibwa saying
It’s a long story…
Way back in 2010, I was living abroad and going through a rather tough time. At that time, I was lucky enough to get ahold of the book, Positivity, by Barbara L. Fredrickson, PhD, a researcher in the field of positive psychology. This book, along with The Happiness Project, by Gretchen Rubin, set me on a serious journey to shift my perspective… and it WORKED! Part of this journey saw me beginning to meditate and learn about mindfulness, which has changed my whole life for the better. (I wrote more about this journey here.)
I have been really happy to dive back into Positivity in preparing for this challenge, and what follows here is mainly my notes on Chapters 9 & 10 of Fredrickson’s book, all about decreasing negativity and increasing positivity. Along the way, you will find loads of resources to help you dive deeper or put these tips into practice. Many of the journaling activities are worksheets that I put together based on her questions and recommendations in the book, and other resources I added from what I use and love.
Ways to Decrease Negativity
Disrupt Rumination: Awareness —> healthy distraction (neutral or something that lifts your mood)
*Journal: My Go-To Distractions
Dispute negative thinking: Negativity is a slippery slope, with emotions and thoughts feeding on each other. Pause and examine…
What is really true? Is this the only way to look at things?
What am I not noticing? What am I downplaying in favor of negativity?
What would the voice of kindness and gentleness offer?
Practice mindfulness: Notice this thought or experience. Acknowledge and accept that it is here. Know that it is passing through and cannot last.
Assess your media diet: What are you taking in? Transform social media by using it for connection rather than mindless scrolling or comparison.
*Resource: How to Break Up With Your Phone by Catherine Price
Be aware of interactions: Interacting in habitual way vs. intentionally. Having expectations for what will happen vs. being open. Gossip, sarcasm vs. sincerity. Perhaps beginning to see difficult people as a teacher in disguise...
Defuse negativity landmines: Notice your patterns. Investigate. What tends to bring you down? Who? When? How can this effect be reduced or modified?
*Journal: Negativity Landmines
Ways to Invest in Positivity
Look for positive meaning: What is the gift in this? How might I reframe or re-interpret it?
Practice gratitude: (This challenge!)
Savor positivity: Slow down and take in all the aspects of positive experiences. Let them make an impact.
*Resources from Rick Hanson:
Practices: Taking in the Good | "I'm alright right now"
Article: Wire your brain for happiness
Video: TED Talk
Find ways to be kind: Helping others helps us!
Seek to connect: People who flourish have warm and trusting relationships with other people.
*App: Fabriq - Keep track of connections and remind yourself to reach out.
*Journal: Connection & Community
Meditate mindfully: Build capacity to be aware and present, which helps with all of these other points.
*App: Insight Timer - Lots of free guided meditations and a customizable bell timer
Follow your passions: Create time to play and to enter “flow state,” being fully engaged and enjoying yourself.
Dream about the future: Visualize future successes, meeting goals.
Apply your strengths: Find ways to use your gifts, and you’ll flourish.
* Resource: Strengths Finder
Connect with nature: Take in beauty, and cultivate curiosity and wonder.
*Journal: Nearby Nature (inspired by Positivity, by Barbara L. Fredrickson, PhD)
Open your mind: Approach with curiosity, nonjudgement, welcoming what is here
Open your heart: Slow down, let yourself be sincere and heartfelt
* Meditation: Lovingkindness
Bonus Tools!
*Blog posts: Let Joy Win & Flourishing
*Journal: Positivity Portfolio Summary & Worksheets (from Positivity, by Barbara L. Fredrickson, PhD)
*Journal: Smile Sparkers (from The Joy Diet, by Martha Beck)
*Journal: Sensory Delights (from The Joy Diet, by Martha Beck)