What I Learned about Flourishing During the Pandemic
A few months ago, people started to forward me an article from the New York Times about languishing. The article was written in 2nd person: "What you're feeling right now has a name: Languishing."
I know that the reason people forwarded this was because it resonated with their experience, but I remember chafing at the assumption that all of us were languishing, and this irritation soon turned to amazement as I realized: No, I don't feel like that. I'm not languishing. Somehow, someway, even though things often feel so strange and difficult... I am flourishing.
How was this possible? 3 possibilities that I can think of:
1) Right off the top, what helps to make flourishing possible is privilege. While I, like almost everyone, was deeply affected by the events of 2020 (the pandemic; the brighter spotlight on systemic racism, violence, and injustice; almost unbelievable political events), still, my household did not lose close family members, did not suffer at the hands of police brutality, did not get COVID, did not lose our livelihood. We were affected, but at a distance, which is privilege. And I want to acknowledge this, both in writing here, and in my day-to-day awareness.
2) Another thing that makes flourishing possible is that I have a nuanced understanding of what it means to flourish. To be thriving doesn't mean that there is no pain, no hardship, no loneliness... this is much too simplistic. Flourishing = being in the messiness AND staying engaged, compassionate, connected, and purposeful. It's a both/and thing.
But how do we stay engaged, compassionate, connected, and purposeful, especially during a year when everything gets dumped on its head?
This leads us to...
3) Flourishing is possible because I am not doing this alone. I have buddies with me.
Almost exactly a year ago, in the middle of the pandemic, Flourish & Bloom Collective formed. I wanted to create a small community where we could develop close bonds that would actually support us. Honestly, I didn't know how it would go, who would come...
As it turned out, a very special group of people gathered together. We began to meet weekly, and this became, amid a sea of Zoom calls, one instance where a Zoom call felt so connected, where in just an hour we got a chance to share with each other so that each person felt feel seen, heard, and suddenly not so alone.
Week after week, we laughed together, ok, sometimes we swore, we have definitely cried at times... in short, we showed up together to be real.
Flourish & Bloom Collective is opening to new members in August. It's going to be different, because the group is built by each unique person in it, and because our time together is informed by our lives... which are ever-changing. Instead of that "I wonder how it will be" feeling, I have trust. I know it's going to be exactly what's right for each person.
Whatever this year holds, my intention is to stay engaged, compassionate, connected, and purposeful— to keep flourishing.
Whatever this year holds, I know I'm called to help bring together a group of buddies who support each other, who practice authenticity and self-compassion like it's their job. (Oh, because it is!)
If you want to be part of this, come check it out, read about it, and see if FBC is right for you. Don't be shy — send me an email if you have questions!
I'm sending you my warm wishes for your continued flourishing,