A happy, happy New Year to you! As I was reflecting and writing a few nights ago, I was thinking that what I really do when it's time for "resolutions," is make commitments. I'm taking time to make deep commitments to what matters right now, to shoring up what feels shaky. I'm looking intently at the cloth of my life and choosing the holes to mend...not with harshness, not with judgement, but with hope, love, and an abiding interest in happiness and wellness for my whole self. I wish all of this for all of us.
Clipped straight out of my journal, above are my four areas of commitment and focus for this year. I'll expand a little on each area below. I'm laying these out as a way of stating where I'm at, and maybe some of these areas correspond with where you're putting your energy, too, right now. Let me know!
Early last year, I chanced to meet Eileen O'Grady, who introduced me to the phrase, "Bedrock Behaviors." These are the things that, if they are a part of your day, you feel more well, strong, and able to face it all. At various times, I've honed in on these behaviors throughout 2017, and it felt great...so I'd like to be more regular.
Here's what I'm resolving:
REST: I will go to my bedroom at 9pm with screens off. I'll retire at 10pm.
NUTRITION: I'll avoid sugar, flour, and alcohol thru January, then check in. When I eat, I'll just eat, nothing else. I'll check in often with a hunger/fullness scale before, during, and after eating.
STILLNESS: I'll use social media, and my phone in general, with purpose. I will focus on noticing transitions, since these seem to be the times when I whip out my phone. Rather than checking apps and sites at these times, I will check IN...with myself.
STRENGTH: I will do my strength and physical therapy exercises 3x each week.
What are your bedrock behaviors? Do they take effort to sustain?
Through a few interesting choices, motivated by fear and a wish for financial security, I spent about a third of last year in an unsustainable situation, schedule-wise. I overcommitted and ended up working all the time, with no free weekends at home from June through December.
I love my work, but whew! I made it through... but it negatively affected all my routines (those bedrock behaviors!), my health, and my most important relationship. I learned lessons, boy did I learn lessons about committing carefully to a schedule that is do-able, that is compassionate to me. We can't serve others very well if we are falling apart. So I resolve:
I'll follow my new schedule, which allows time for writing, being outdoors, reflecting, creating, and working on engaging projects.
I'll only commit to work that feeds my soul and fits into my vision.
I'll be realistic about the time it takes to get ready and out the door, and I'll stop doing "one more thing" so I don't end up hurrying, anxiously speeding down the road.
I'll make sure there are free moments and hours, that my calendar isn't full of appointments that meet and overlap, leaving panting and eating while I drive from one thing to the next.
I'll hold Wednesdays as my work-from-home days and Sundays as my do-not-work days.
Sometimes I'm kind of a lone wolf (I actually typed "a love work." That too.) When I get busy or stressed, I hole up. I'm an introvert, and I never have/want a huge group of friends anyway...but I know that I need more connections, more of a tribe, professionally and socially.
Of all of the areas I'm committing to this year, I'll honestly say that this one stumps me. I don't quite know how to tackle it, but I'll try. I resolve:
I will engage, connect, and draw closer to those around me.
I'll have my eye out for mentors, people whose work I admire, and friendships to cultivate.
I'll do my darndest to reach out, even when I'm feeling busy or shy.
Got any tips? I'd love to hear!
This is a continuation of the work I've done this year to know myself, to be exactly who I am, to express my feelings, and to say what I need to say. This is a rooting out of people-pleasing and fear of judgement and expectations.
I'll do my shielding and safety meditation daily.
When I head into situations that test my boundaries, I will prepare by getting very clear about what I need, my yeses and my nos, my reasons and my rights.
I'll say yes when I mean yes. I'll say know when I mean no. I'll say "I'm not sure, I'll tell you later." when I'm feeling shaky.
I will have difficult conversations and face conflict rather than suffer silence and resentment.
Whether you write resolutions, set intentions, make commitments, or nothing so formal...where is your energy going right now? What are you cultivating right now?